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A small Southern town has three churches, all of which are infested with rats.

24 January 2011

A small Southern town has three churches, all of which are infested with rats. The Presbyterians figure that the rats are predestined to be there and that trying to get rid of them would be an affront to God’s almighty sovereignty. So they do nothing.

The Baptists notice that the rats are clustered in the baptismal pool, so they slam the pool cover on and fill it with water in an effort to drown the rats. However, the rats manage to escape somehow and next Sunday there are twice as many of them.

The Episcopalians have the best luck. First they form an Inclusion Committee to engage in social outreach to the rats. Then they reserve a seat on the vestry for a rat. Then they tell the rats that they can receive communion even if they are not baptized. Finally, they begin to talk incessantly to the rats about the importance of stewardship and contributing to the Capital Campaign. After a month of this, the rats go away and only come back for Christmas and Easter.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Sally Atari permalink
    24 January 2011 9:55 pm

    I was raised a Catholic, born again a Baptist at age 18, while working in a baptist run christian bookstore, I met many wonderful christians from all denominations. That’s how I was loved into the pentacostal church (for six years)…. At age 26, my mother was diagnosed with Geoblastoma, a brain cancer, terminal and at that time, our family was told, ‘she has 6mos to a year to live’. As a pentacostal, I hit my knees and went to work fasting and begging God to let my mother be the exception. She died after 18 mos. In the midst of it, I had a nervous break down. My three children were 5 y/o,3 and 1. I was devistated. My brother was a seventh day adventist pastor and gently helped me to let go of God’s throat as my prayers became bitter and angry. And I became a seventh day adventist.
    Fourteen years later, I started to study with the goal of deciding whether to believe in their prophet, E G White… I read everything I could about her from every source I could find. I left the Seventh Day Adventist Church.
    I eventually walked into an Episcople Church… it was like baby food… sweet, easy to digest, tender, and I felt sooooo welcome.
    I recently returned to the Seventh Day Adventist Church as there are a few things that I’m quite sure of… the seventh day Sabbath is still the one God wrote down with his finger in stone and then in my heart, the state of the dead: sleep (…the dead know not anything…dan12) and many other foundational truths that I can no longer argue.

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